For now

I made a comment to a therapist nearly a decade ago that I needed a clone to get done all that I needed to get done. As I recall, she was a bit horrified concerned and that became The Topic of Discussion for quite awhile. At the time, I had an extremely active and precocious toddler, a large flute studio, a list of To-Dos that would bleed from one side of the paper to the other, and I was barely holding it together. I knew nothing of giftedness or overexcitabilities or how intensities can easily overwhelm a person.

Looking back at that now, I laugh, for dem were da easy days.

Since I couldn’t ditch the toddler or the flute studio, the therapist strongly encouraged me to rip up, or at least pare down, the To-Do List From Hell and I did. For awhile it worked, and it was a relief not seeing all the things I wanted and needed to do in black and white in front of me.

These days my list is actually more manageable. No idea how that happened, probably because the items on it are actually doable, like getting this post written. Instead, I have a mental tally of things that need to get done…but now I have a mantra to counteract the crazy, when I feel myself start to spin down the rabbit hole.

FOR NOW.

OMG the dishwasher is still broken and it’s probably going to stay that way until we gut-rehab the kitchen and waaahhhh!!! that’s at least five years away and the rest of the appliances are jealous of the dishwasher’s extended vacation and will soon join it FOR NOW.

Homeschooling is killing me. Yes, it’s the best thing for our son, but I know we’re going to do this until the end of time and he’s going to be dumb as a bag of rocks because he shuts down if I try to teach him anything because he’s convinced that he knows it already even when he doesn’t and I really need to find a job because ramen noodles don’t come in a gluten free variety FOR NOW.

We are living in a house of horrors. I am convinced that it was built over some sort of ancient burial ground because every single thing is falling apart all at once and we have to live with it and can’t afford to fix everything and renovations are years upon years off and it’s a matter of time before that one kitchen cabinet falls off the wall and maims the dog and I really can’t handle another unexpected repair with a contractor saying he’d never seen that before FOR NOW.

It’s really a freeing phrase. It’s my antidote to mentally spinning out of control, and it was the mentally spinning out of control that landed me in the therapist’s office in the first place. It doesn’t mean I can’t deal with situations as they arise, it just keeps the “and this and that and the other thing” from sending me straight into the very dark places that keep me awake at night.

Now the challenge is to teach this phrase to my husband and sons. I’m not the only one around here who tends to spin down the rabbit hole.

About these ads

15 thoughts on “For now

  1. Oh My #%^#$&%&GAWD!!! I’m laughing so hard I’m wheezing like an OLD Man,with the Whiskey Laugh, your wonderful cross-outs coupled with Homeschool is Killing me…I totally Get This. Its the best for my Daughter who’s a SeniorPraise the Lord. I’m not even kidding you. i didn’t have senioritsis as bad as this the first time, She works So hard at demolishing her studies, She’s gonna do great, now I’m just hanging on just guiding her along—Then There’s the Transcript/course description book that I have an Active Approach avoidance thing with. I’m surprised i haven’t broken out in Hives…..And Fafsa, and registering for college I Love Her but this amount of paperwork broaching the horizon is daunting just thinking about it. i know it will be ok, finish line is in sight,I LIVE on Coffee right now, It doesn’t help that Im slightly addicted to Squidoo at the moment. What possesed me to start a blog THIS week…Its Fascinating thats why. Oh,Thank You for that awesome laugh fest. I know you will do just fine, really Summer is almost here. I think mI will celebrate with Vigin cocktails served out of Giant Margarita glasses (maybe Pier 1?) While waving at the buses as they go by…for our First week of summer. She and I have been plotting this for a while now. Don’t get me wrong the bus drivers all are Really great and the kids are good too, its just that we Can. MwaaaMwaaaMwaa :)

    • Ok so after some thought we prob won’t do the faux margharhita thing, I was a great relieving thought -but just because we can doesn’t mean we should. Again Great post! Thank God for Co-op, more friends in the trenches :)

      • Nah. Virgin daiquiris on the porch, maybe even lounging in the sun, toasting the bus…sounds good to me. My son and I may do something like that, perhaps with lemonade. LOL

  2. Oh, yes. I completely relate. COMPLETELY relate. One toilet down; a yard dying from a drought. I keep renewing library books online because I can’t get them there RIGHT on time. My guest room. The playroom. The garage. Heck, I’ve got a cold so this week it’s even my kitchen that’s gonna wait. For now.

    • Yeah, I tend to avoid the library because we end up paying so much in fines it’s cheaper to just buy the books (second hand, of course…)

  3. Oooh! That’s such a great variation on “this shall pass”! Or getting rid of all the “should”s. Only it seems much more easy to use, because you can just start the bad sentence and then add a FOR NOW at the end like you did up there. That is awesomesauce.

    And I totally need that right now.

    Free Play Life had a great post this morning, too: http://freeplaylife.com/2012/04/permanent-impermanence-or-how-to-embrace-right-now/

    • It’s a great way to turn the thought around when you realize you’re spinning. And I read FPL’s post that day too. She nailed it. Before we both moved we lived in the same town in CO and got together occasionally. She’s awesome and I wish we lived closer now. :/

  4. …and here I am lamenting I have NO list, and need one. I guess it’s always a matter of balance isn’t it.

  5. This is how I get through each and every day. “FOR NOW.” Life won’t always be like this (Iabsolutelyhatehomeschoolinghowcananyonedothisandenjoyit).

  6. This is hysterical. What a fun post. Making stress into fun art. That’s the thing.

  7. Thank you – I needed that today. I can relate.

  8. Your list is reminding me of MY list. I try to say “for now” but then the voice in my head says, “NO! I am SICK and tired of “FOR NOW” I want it done NOW!” The voice sounds suspiciously like Veruca Salt. (The character, not the band.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s