I Try to Think and Nothin’ Happens

 

Time flies when you’re having fun …or studying for the series 7 & 66 …or both. It wasn’t Super Tuesday yesterday, but it was an important Tueday for me as I helped and cheered for candidate that ultimately was not able to win the primary last night.

I completely spaced today’s blog post, but I have had it on my mind several times over the recent past. Most of my thoughts have been on the Series exams I have coming up. The problem is that it has been 10 years since I was in grad school. Since that time I’ve tried countless unsuccessful substitutes to Cylert (deciding med-free is best for me for now), had 3 children and changed jobs 4 times.  I’ve found that being a father takes more time and energy than anything else in my life.

I’m fairly typical ADHD in many ways, so studying is challenging usually. Studying dry material is much more challenging. In school I used to have moments where it felt as though lightning would strike. I would have evenings where I’d fall into flow and 2 weeks of studying would be done in a single evening.  …Those moments are not happening right now and it’s really irritating to say the least. Now I could not depend on these evening to occur upon demand, but if I spent 3 evenings studying, I was pretty certain one of those evenings would catch fire.

Yeah, it created terrible study habits and extreme procrastination, but it got me through both my undergrads and my MBA as well. The changes of added stress in my life, lack of sleep, and countless small-child distraction has certainly made getting into flow when studying a bit trickier. I know I’ll get through this task of getting certified, even if it’s going to be a long hard slog all the way through.

I have a wonderful set of doctors I work with and I can always try medication, but I’d really rather not. Initially I set out to take the Series 7 in 2 weeks, the 66 a week after that and be done in just a few weeks. I’m going on 2 weeks now and I’m just half way through the 7. It’s exhausting. It’s more than exhausting. I’d rather be physically exhausted and satisfied by my accomplishments, but instead I feel I’m working very hard and going very slow. I was told to expect to study 200 to 220 hours, but felt certain I’d be done in 40 or less if lightning would strike.  …Where is a storm when I need it. This draught is painful!

As my brain attunes to studying again, I look forward to the rain, even if I don’t see the lightning for a while.

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5 thoughts on “I Try to Think and Nothin’ Happens

  1. This is how I’ve been feeling with editing of late!

  2. Hi Tom! This is what creative writing is like! I also feel childrearing is like this. Try, try, try and then something clicks. The more often I sit down to write, the more often I have success. I’m not sure that the percentage of successful sittings goes up but of course, the more we do something, the more success we have. I wonder if this is what it’s like to do anything hard, that is not rote but discovery. The writers I know who are on their 10th novel say: It never gets easier. You never come up with a way or a formula for the next book. I think: Impossible! But maybe so! Good luck on your exams. I’m glad you have past successes to reflect on/remind yourself you can accomplish anything you want with time. Good for me to remember too: the question is not… can I do it, but am I willing?

  3. Sorry, but what are “Series” exams?

    I often feel like I have some of these same ADHD characteristics, I’m not sure whether to be happy to think it’s a possible cause of my issues or sad because of the potential disability. I’ve never been diagnosed, it’s only my own armchair psychoanalysis.

    • The Series exams are various financial certification tests. The 7 allows me to be a stock broker. The 66 of the same ilk, just dealing more with the legal aspect. As for looking at situations as positive or negative I can easily say that I believe it is BECAUSE I have dysnomia (inability to retrieve specific words) it has caused me to strengthen my vocabulary. Instead of thinking of them as completely a DISability, I think we need to see the strengths we have within the issues. I’d still do terribly on fill-in-the blank questions, but fortunately I don’t have to deal with that right now. So be happy if you’re happy. Don’t let a label make you think you’re something less special than who you already are. Being gifted is tough enough without other label pressures. ;)

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