The Intensity of Happy

Oh! Happy  — excitement, enthusiasm, jumping for joy —- over the simplest things, the littlest of wonders, a new experience, a new discovery, a new idea, a new breath, a new step….

The responses to such exuberance can include:  Have you lost your mind?  What are you so excited about?  What’s the big deal?  What’s got into you?  Slow down, there’s no point in getting excited.  You are just being silly.  It’s just a ______.  There’s no way that will work.  What are you thinking?

You quickly learn with those kinds of responses to put a damper on your enthusiasm.  You can go from that happy-go-lucky person to oh so serious.  After all serious is more acceptable, blends in better, has value.  Also, with the serious approach you can blend into the wall and not be noticed.

With the excitement of the bouncing ball, the butterfly that lands on your arm, learning how to build with legos, or how to use a squeegee.  Oh yes, that gets the happy feet going.

—– How old are you (said with raised eyebrows)? ——   It does not matter the age (unless it is under the age of about 5 – then the squeals of delight and funny stepping is still ok).  Older then that – you hear —- ssshhh, quiet; behave yourself; straighten up; be responsible.

Those little feet have a mind of their own and under the table they keep tap, tap, tapping.

With time the expression of exuberance is minimized around others.  You celebrate some when you are alone.  You carefully celebrate with a few others.  The holding in creates doubting that joy can stay or last.  You also hesitate to the feel the joy knowing the crash will follow.  Then the moments come and you forget yourself and the happy feet are dancing.  Whoops, the delight has been unbridled.

You can learn when the enthusiasm can be acceptable – children are a wonderful excuse.  Special occasions to celebrate, usually others’ birthdays, anniversaries or…. then it is ok and encouraged.  But don’t make it a habit because then you will be considered “too much”.

You walk a very thin line of normalcy or maybe sanity.  Popular trends have shouted to live your life to the fullest.  And, yet, if intensity of happy feet slips out then you have crossed the line.

It is important to find the ways, the means, the place to let those happy feet have full rein, complete freedom, be indulged, expressed and experienced.

To know the feeling of flow and the creative mode is wonderful.  To experience life with joyful delight at any moment is a gift.

Dance Dance Dance

What is your experience of getting excited?  How have others responded to you?  What gets you excited?

Yes I am Gifted

As an adult acknowledging and sharing oneself as gifted is a challenge.

Many gifted adults were identified as children and then of course they “outgrew” being gifted.  Other gifted adults were never identified and struggle with being different and, of course, having a condition (whatever label that may have been assimilated/provided).  Yet, other gifted adults, may see themselves through different eyes as they raise gifted children – wake up call, validation, coincidence.  And yes, there are those who knew and know they are gifted relating to those factors readily on a day to day basis.

Coming out gifted is as important and difficult, in many cases, as – gender preferences, experiencing domestic violence, learning disabilities, and mental health dynamics – the hidden differences.  Being human involves having personal preferences and biases – from different points of view, experiences, culture.  However, that can still create uncomfortable and potential risky situations.  Yet, we have seen increased understanding through information facilitates communication and more positive interactions.

My experience is:  knowing I was smart and different and minimizing lots of the effects through early childhood with moving as a military dependent.  As a teen, being faced with several biases simultaneously and internalizing the consequences of being different with significant pain and resiliency.  Change was part of my life.  Leaving and learning was too.  Being responsible and moving forward was another aspect.  All that is good and yet has it disadvantages, also.  I developed strategies of meeting many expectations (mine, parents, and others) and my needs.  Some of those strategies included blending in, dumbing down, minimizing emotional response, leading from others perspectives, and being selective on goals / dreams.

Coming out gifted for me means – gaining understanding of being gifted, my giftedness, and other factors that impact who I am;  overcoming  the void of not fitting in and attempting mediocrity, as well as the intensity and expectations;  developing skills needed that do not come easy, mastery of my talents, and balance of all the facets of being gifted and life;  expressing giftedness with exuberance just for me and for the world; and finally connecting with myself, others like me, others around me and those marvelous dots.

Our world society is talking about needing a renaissance to manage the mess we are in today (messes have existed throughout history so that is not new).  A renaissance involves creativity, innovation, change, leadership, respect, passion, compassion, ideas, discoveries, new thought, etc.  Thus we see and need minds that go beyond, that are exceptional, that make leaps, and that see the big picture.  And, those minds belong to gifted adults and adults-to-be.  You and me!

There are discussions happening from different perspectives (business, education, coaching, counseling, leadership training, nonconformity, uncollege, etc.) to discover and express your abilities, passions, dreams to meet your needs and create change for the better.  True not all of that refers to being “gifted”, but an emphasis on self-development and beneficial interchange for the world.  We, as gifted, need to be part of that trend/revolution.

Opportunities to gain more understanding and interact with others are available with:

Giftedness across the Life Span: When it Looks Like Psychopathology but Isn’t

Presented and developed by Lisa Erickson, MS, LMHC    April 6^th, 2012   This workshop is for Mental Health Professionals

“Giftedness can be easy to miss.  The psychological characteristics of giftedness are not recognized by most clinicians. But, their effect on treatment can be strongly positive or negative. Gifted people may be misdiagnosed as having learning disabilities, mood disorders, or Axis II disorders, including narcissism. They may also have difficulties with addictions. If you are having challenges with clients not improving as expected, unidentified giftedness may be one factor to consider.”

http://www.cascadia-training.org/course-detail.php?tn=4&id=9

Lisa Erickson’s article on Coming Out Gifted  –  http://www.cascadia-training.org/assets/docs/ComingoutGifted2.pdf

Institute for the Study of Advanced Development  Director, Dr. Linda Silverman

“ISAD currently publishes the yearly Advanced Development Journal, the only peer-reviewed journal dedicated to questions of adult giftedness. Last April, they even held the first-ever Symposium on Adult Giftedness. And in 2012, July19-21, they’re hosting the 10^th International Dabrowski Conference. The conference is aimed at helping gifted adults and the parents of gifted kids.”

http://www.care2.com/causes/what-happens-when-gifted-kids-grow-up.html

More information and perspectives can be found at my site http://www.howtoinlife.com

Intensity of Brilliance

As we look at art or nature we can see vibrant brilliance in an array of color combinations.  The sun shines brilliantly.  The reflection off the water is brilliant.  The stars in the night sky are shining with pinpoint luminosity.  Drawing on black paper with white pencil brings forth brilliance of the white and the layers of color.  We see the intensity of the brilliance.

The high pitched excitement in the voice; the glow of the face with the sparkle in the eyes; the quick erratic movements; the rapid fire of ideas and speech – are the intense expression of brilliance.

The keen awareness and response to the sounds, smells, and lights around us; the sensitivity to the environment and the emotions of others; the vivid mind pictures and seeing the interconnections of ideas, concepts, problems, solutions – are part of the intensity of brilliance.

Our lives are full of color – every shade and hue.  Each facet of the diamond creates a brilliant reflection of the inner composition and potential.  In the rough, without understanding of what lies beneath, without development through polishing, without the cuts to create the expression, without the connection of the inner and outer or artist and material, the intensity of the brilliance will be missed.

Sacred expression of the brilliance with intensity

The black paper – nothing – the void

The circle in white – containing a portion of the void

The quiet place within

The question posed

The swirling of the mist – clearing with a vision – a visual answer

Taking up the white pencil, allowing the image to be seen

Distinct marks, shadowing, creating varied intensities of white

The image takes form – living element all of its own

To the quiet place again – colors whirling, settling, vivid, intense, brilliant

The void within the circle is shining with the white – the luminescent light

Colors are chosen

Pigments applied

The void is now a living reflection of the vision

The intense brilliance presents its opportunity  — YOU

Dear Gifted Me – Edith’s Whisperings to herself

The question was asked, what would I share with the young teenager experiencing the struggles and the excitement of being a teen with high abilities?

Where was I as at and what was I doing?  I was an Army dependent and changing schools on average every 18 months.  I went to four different high schools.  I was taking advanced sciences and maths (sometimes that just meant skipping to the next grade level).  I was organizing activities for myself and peers to do.  I was active in lots of extracurricular activities (the Latin Club triathlon).   I was interested in boys.  I was reading lots.  I was the oldest of seven, so helping out at home a lot (both ‘girl’ stuff and ‘boy’ stuff).

What do I want to share……..   One thought that crosses my mind is do enjoy entertaining and creating get-togethers, and at the same time don’t lose yourself in the performance.  Remember to be who you are and not try “too hard” to fit in.  It is great to have lots of people around you that are having fun.  Remember also what is in you that needs to be expressed.

Another thought is all the girls are struggling in some way in developing their relationships with the young men, even if it seems they have it all.  Be proud of your abilities and be true to yourself (yes this is easier to say as an adult, an adult that continues to struggle with relationships).  Also, realize the young men are floundering with how to relate also.  Follow your instinct to know yourself and what you are capable of and your passions.  The confidence in that spark that is within will connect you with others with common threads.

Yet another thought, do not limit yourself with one interest, do explore the many things that grab your attention.  Pursuing many directions is a choice.  Those varied talents and interests can coalesce or lead you down a series of wonderful (and yes bumpy) roads.  Denying interests and passions to conform to having a focused direction means burying part of yourself.  You journal – take it one step further and keep an idea book so that you can add to each idea and capture them to develop in their own time.

Yes stretch your wings in the flock of geese and in independent soaring of the eagle.  Look both upon the dark and the light as the owl who sees well both in the day and night.  Gain the wisdom of Self and of the world to understand the beauty of the ugly duckling.  With Love from an adult that is still discovering the dreams of the teenager.