I’ve avoided doing one of these for a while – not because I have anything to hide. Or because I don’t tell the truth. Or because…of whatever. I just was never certain how I would write it…
Which leads me to my confession of the day.
I AM A FREAK PERFECTIONIST!!!
No – really; a serious perfectionist.
Now, I know what you’re thinking – “No way! Not you. You’re posts have typos, etc. They are far from perfect.”
But, trust me – I am.
While it’s true, my posts and comments will have some grammar stuff going on from time to time, I am a true perfectionist. Not about grammar, not in the OCD, the mugs must all face the same direction kind of way either (although since we are being honest, I do alphabetize my spices, and I do color code my closet)…
I am a perfectionist when it comes down to how others perceive me…I hate disappointing someone. HATE IT!
I am also a perfectionist when it comes to my writing, at least in terms of content. No one is a harsher judge of my work than I am. So, when I get crits back – when they bleed red (which they frequently do because I have the greatest crit buds on the planet), I freak.
But not for the normal reasons –
not because the writing “isn’t there yet”,
not because the reader “didn’t get what I was trying to say”.
My reasons are freakier (is that a word???)…
I freak out because I wasted so much of my crit partner’s time. Because it wasn’t good enough BEFORE I gave it to them.
I know, I know….
Over the last 18 months I have really had to learn what a process writing is. Even now, with a book contract in hand, I am freaking out (obsessing is probably more accurate) over what my editor is going to think next week when I send her the ms…Will it be good enough? Will I have made her work too hard as well?
It’s enough to make me hang up my pen….or at least lose sleep.
So, what are you hangups? Lay it on me this Truthful Thursday!
And PS – Be sure to check out the Fiction Friday prompt this week…TOO MUCH FUN! Check back tomorrow for myattempt….and trust me, given my perfectionism thing…these are HARD for me.