Do you remember when you first fell in love? The thrill of seeing that person – the way your heart felt as it pounded against your ribs? Or how your breath came in small puffs whenever your mind wandered to that person? Or the way your mind seemed locked in a continual loop around every detail of your lover?
How about that first fight? Maybe it ended the relationship, maybe it didn’t – either way your world came to a halt. Your heart felt as though it was breaking inside your chest. Your lungs felt incapable of drawing oxygen into your body. You slip into a hole so wide and so deep you are convinced you will never find your way out of it. You cry. You scream. And you wonder if life can continue without your lover.
Sometimes we can find our way back to our lover. We discover that the love has changed – deepened into something else. The intensity of attraction changes, not wanes really, just changes.
The change isn’t bad – just different. We have to get used to it. But we want to. The love is deeper, more true. It can weather the storms.
I thinking writing is just like this.
At first it is all intense and all-consuming. It was the first thing I thought of in the morning, and the last thing I thought about at night.
After my first novel – and my next – the feeling remained.
But as time went on, things changed. I completed my next novel and a few short stories. The passion turned into work.
Everything felt different.
I was still in love with writing. But that love had changed.
It changes still.
My muse took off for a bit and left me breathless, confused, sad.
And like any long-term relationship I had to decide if I was willing to put in the work necessary to continue.
And I am.
So I do…
And just like my other important relationships – it is worth it.
What about you guys? How do you view your relationship with writing?