Recapping the #gtchat

Hi everyone.

Whew, what a fabulous launch day. You guys were all so amazingly supportive and I am thrilled! I am keeping the party going through Oct 15, so be sure to keep stopping by for fab chances to win everything from book swag to 30 minute consultations with me re gifted stuff and 10 page crits. WOO HOO!!! I love parties!

For today, I wanted to give you a brief overview of the amazing #gtchat yesterday and throw in another little contest for some great swag and a little surprise.

First off, I need to thank Deborah Mersino for hosting #gtchat. The session was fast and furious (check out the transcript). And for my friends that I KNOW were lurking, thanks! I felt your good vibes through the interwebz.

The chat started off with a rapid firing of questions. Most of them had to do with dealing with the more explosive nature of emotional intensity and how to manage it.

So I thought I’d give a few tips here.

Before:

The best time to deal with a behavioral explosion is before it ever happens. These few things can really help prevent most behavioral outbursts:

  • Set a strong foundation that includes good communication and boundaries
  • Work with the child to develop an emotional vocabulary and cuing system to alert the child when their behavior is slipping
  • Work with the child on ways to relax and descalate

During:

Sometimes explosions still happen. Here are some ideas on managing it safely.

  • Don’t get hooked into the drama
  • Using a calm voice, clearly state what you require of the child
  • Make sure the child is safe
  • Give YOURSELF a time away if needed to avoid getting hooked

After:

This is the time to regroup and reteach.

  • Debrief with the child – going over what went wrong in terms of the child’s behavioral control
  • Remember that explosions are opportunities to reteach the behavior you want
  • Discuss the consequences
  • Deliver the consequence

This is a very bried overview, but you get the general idea. My book, Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students has more detail on ways to handle each part of the escaltion cycle.

Now, on to the fun stuff….a little contest

Leave a comment on THIS post and you can win the following:

  • bookmarks
  • sticky notes
  • a couple of great magazines related to giftedness from Prufrock Press
  • and….Either a 10-page crit by me OR a 30-min consult on anything related to giftedness.

Cool? I hope so,

Deets:

  • Leave a comment
  • If you tweet or spread the love, tell me and you get 1 extra entry for each thing you do

The contest runs for a week. I’ll announce the winner next Sat.

So, tell me – what do YOU do to manage emotional intensity – yours or your kids???

16 thoughts on “Recapping the #gtchat

  1. benoit

    I think I can’t really manage my own emotional intensity as well. I just let the storm blow, try not to hurt anybody and wait for the peace that always follows.

    It’ll be funny me winning the 30-min consult😉 It’d be just enough to eat some “Côte d’Or” chocolate and drink a “Chimay bleue” beer…but what a trip to see you ! LOL

    If you plan to come in Europe, I sure can organize some things. (I gave the references of your book last week to a student making her memoir on the Emotions in gifted adults).

    My mother-in-law has already made books translations (English to french)
    What about a French version ?🙂

    Best regards

    Benoit

    1. Christine Fonseca

      Thanks for all the support Benoit! If you won the consult, we’d have to do it via skype or video chat…something like that😉

  2. Nisa

    Sorry for just lurking, but twitter terrifies me. lol! I still don’t know what I’m doing there. I’m so happy that it went so well! It was a great Q and A!

  3. Wow Christine, You are doing so much! Amazon says they are out of stock for your book. I hope that’s a good thing.🙂 It’s amazing to see how much you have going on for the launch already.

  4. bf4tbrainy

    Christine,

    Thanks for the great gt chat yesterday, this post and for your book on emotional intensity. I’m looking forward to reading it soon.

    Taking a walk is by far the best strategy for managing my own emotional intensity. The fresh air, change of scenery, solitude and exercise all help to calm me down and get me re-centered.

    Our 10 year old son doesn’t have a sure-fire strategy yet but a short burst of exercise (3x up and down the stairs or 5 intense mins. on the exercise bike) or 10 minutes of down time in his room usually help him regain his equilibrium. He then returns with a freely offered apology, ready to resume his work or other activity. These days he rarely has full-blown outbursts but he does have periods of gratuitous argumentativeness during which he questions or disputes everything and everyone around him. These periods generally occur when he is not in control of his own agenda (i.e., during work time or when we need to accomplish some chore or another).

    Sadly, our ability to stay out of the drama is still imperfect. We’re working on it though.

  5. Generally speaking, I just stalk to a dark secluded area and vent. Screaming into pillows work. If I’m in public, I bottle it till the first opportunity presents itself.

    Otherwise I tend to just talk about it (another form of venting, I guess.)

    Failing that, my temper is short, explosive, but it subsides just as fast. I do, however, warn people ahead of time so that they can back away and let me deal with whatever it is as calmly and as rationally as possible. I only start exploding when people keep doing things that provoke me. This might be unintentional, but I can only keep my cool for so long after I’ve been set off. Sad but true.

  6. To manage my own emotional intensity, I meditate, exercise, and try to communicate in a loving way what I am going through. Practice. Practice. Practice.

    For my students (I’m not currently teaching), I tried to respond with respect, give them space, and set boundaries that ideally included options.

  7. I can’t wait to read the book, Christine. I have some statergies already, but they are more in the prevented side of things, which don’t always work because the situation tends to arise when I’m busy (of course).

  8. Music, loud and intense, is the best way for me to safely feel my emotional intensity, but it’s usually only a temporary fix. I have learned to reach out to others, and per the advice of one of my good friends, I have begun using the imaginary “trash bag”. I hand it to the person I am talking to, usually my husband, and have him “hold it open.” I then begin talking, loud and fast. My listener’s job it to catch what I have just said. He does nothing with it, except close up the “trash bag” and “throw it away.” This simple, yet abstract concept, helps me release my emotions and think through my conflicts. And he has learned that sometimes an ear is all I really need.

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  12. I’m glad your launch has gone so well! Congrats. Great contest!

    And, when my child has that emotional intensity, I respect them. I don’t draw lines in the sand or make empty threats, but there are consequences for being disrespectful.

  13. sunny

    Missed the chat (out of town), but glad it went well! Looking forward to reading the transcript (still catching up on things!) and reading your book. Thanks!

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