On Friday, the 25th, both Jen and Kate made similar posts on separate blogs. Jen posted here about her experiences with going Quiet, and Kate posted on her own blog –about why she sometimes stops blogging. After reading their posts, I wanted to say, “Me too! Me too!” Which I did; in the comments.
I have been filled with minor, petty anxieties and perhaps one or two big ones, that have built up and made just want to lay down and take a nap. First, we’ve got fleas. We have three cats and three trillion fleas. I don’t know for sure if the fleas got in here because of the cats, the since they are all indoor cats –though one cat has been known to escape from time to time. As of this writing, I have only seen one, maybe two fleas today. It could have been the same flea twice. So there has been spraying, and vacuuming (oh, so much vacuuming!) and washing every piece of bedding and most pieces of clothing, and gel treatments on the cats, and flea collars (on the cats–though we all did fantasize about getting some for ourselves to wear around our ankles!) And more vacuuming and just when I think I have gone a day and a half without seeing a flea, one of my kids will complain that one just jumped on them. I think I feel something crawling on my arm and I look, and nothing is there. Nine times out of ten, nothing will be there. But not ten times out of ten.
Then we have the battle of whether or not to fog. I don’t want to. I am concerned about it being flammable and having to turn off the pilot lights. I am concerned about what will happen to any of our food that is in cardboard boxes in the pantry–like the cereal that has been opened. I just don’t trust the foggers.
My 21-year-old twins are in rehearsals for a local play, meanwhile, one of them is jobless and the other one has announced she is moving out of state at the beginning of July right after her play is over. She won’t be here for her little sister’s dance recital which is the first weekend in August. And will her brother ever get a job, because he doesn’t look like he is really trying very hard to get a job. He seems to be way too picky about where he is willing to work. Before you ask, we already tried the kicking him out thing, but to make a long story short, that wasn’t hitting bottom for him even though he sometimes had to sleep in a car or in a park. I worry that hitting bottom for him will be when he is dead. So I guess we will be supporting him for the rest of his life while he complains that we don’t treat him like the 21-year-old adult that he is.
I am concerned about my health. Working out and eating smaller portions would go a very long way in alleviating many of my health issues: Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high triglycerides (apparently my LDLs and my HDLs are where they should be); but I don’t seem to find a way to change my routine so that I can fit in exercise. I do have a plan for this once school is out, but we’ll see if I actually do anything about it.
We have a few trips planned to visit relatives this summer. My husband’s parents live in one part of Arizona, and my mom lives in another and we are trying to find a way to visit both sets of parents who live hours from each other, and even more hours from us. Then there’s my dad. He only lives about an hour and a half away but I haven’t seen him in over a year. I think we communicate psychically because there hasn’t been any other form of communication between us other than the occasional email forward from his wife, or a “Like” on one of my Facebook posts (again, from his wife, not from him). I realize I might be coming off like I’m whining about my life. This is not my intention. I am merely writing down the facts as I see them. I am explaining what whirls through my brain throughout the day in no particular order and in varying intensities. Then, finally, it’s the shut down.
It seems my synapses have gone on strike. They have chosen to only have limited communication with each other. All I want to do is read and watch some TV and knit and crochet. I want to write, but apparently not enough to do more than what I have actually promised another person that I would write.
Meanwhile, I’m not getting any writing done on my blog. I am too lazy to take pictures of my knit and crochet projects and post them like I used to. I finally took one Wednesday of a hat I finished that I will be posting today. So, I guess I’m still knitting and crocheting. I’m still reading. I’m just not writing. Except for this. Right here. I wonder, what will it take to get me writing my little fiction stories that I used to write? Will I have to wait all the way until November when NaNoWriMo forces my hand? Will I find a writing prompt in my writing group that inspires me long before November? That is my plan. This is my hope.