Can I tell you a secret?  I don’t like setting goals.  I usually get so distracted by other things, I get overwhelmed and well just give up.  I stopped setting goals and instead started focusing on a theme or word for the year.  This year Believe kept coming to mind over and over again so I went with it. Believe hubby will get a better paying job, believe I will lose weight, and believe I’ll be a better parent.  The list could go on and on.  (Btw, I plan on taking action in these areas, not just sit around and believe it will happen.) As the days of the New Year have turned into weeks, more words have come to mind…remember I get distracted easily.  🙂   Kindness, connection, and love keep coming to me over and over, why?
 Confession time…when my kids get intense, I can get just as intense, and downright mean and nasty.   The problem is this reaction ALWAYS makes the situation worse.  I lose so much when I get intense.  I lose the opportunity to teach my kids to be kind, and lose connection with my kids, I don’t show love.  What do I gain? Super intense kids, super stressed out me. 
This year I am focusing on kindness, connection, and love being my first, second, third, forth, ect reaction.  This morning was hard.  I needed to get out the door at a certain time.  The kids didn’t want to wear the clothes laid out, didn’t want the breakfast prepared, started to fight and get intense.  I started to get intense too.  I could feel stress slowly taking over.  I stopped sat on the ground and asked the kids to come sit in my lap.  I closed my eyes, took deep breaths, thought of a nice warm beach.  We all started to calm down. I am realizing that my intensity creates more problems/behavior.  When I respond with kindness, my kids feel connected to me, and feel loved. 
So for 2013 I am going to believe that I will respond with kindness when faced with intensity, that kindness will create connection with my kids, and that connection will create more love.  I guess the Beatles were right…All you need is love. 🙂

2 thoughts on “New beginnings…Believe…Kindness…Connection…LOVE

  1. One not-melting-down at a time.
    running late and lost items are a big trigger for me, like huge. My mommy tantrum and I are constantly at ‘bat’ with 5 kids…I’m winning 6-1 since the beginning of December!

  2. This reminds me of my commitment to listen more and talk less (even when what my daughter has said to me is false, ridiculous, and accusatory!!!)
    It actually helped and like your story, ended with us, on floor, head in lap.

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