It isn’t easy for me to make friends. I can be friendly with any number of people, and I can be “friends” with a wide variety of personality types. What I have a hard time with, is finding someone who actually “gets” me. I have theorized that perhaps some of the reason why I  have found it somewhat difficult to find that “kindred spirit” might have something to do with the places I have lived. Though I have always lived in or near Southern California, which is considered a “blue” state, I tend to end up living in “red” towns.  I haven’t done any research on this. My theories are based only on anecdotal evidence, so perhaps just a tad biased?

I have noticed that the friends I have the most in common with, tend to also live in “blue” states. They tend to be more socially liberal. They tend to have more well thought out responses to political posts, rather than having emotional outbursts. They tend to have a stronger appreciation for the science fiction genre than others. They usually know what I’m talking about when I mention The Doctor (and wouldn’t dream of writing “the dr.”) and realize that the only proper response to, “No more rhyming, now, I mean it!” is, “Does anybody want a peanut?”  Honestly, the other day I saw a license plate that said, “2 BLAVE” and I almost ran them off the road to see if they would please be friends with me! I realized that might not be the best way to begin things, so reluctantly, I allowed them to drive on.

Of course I have plenty of friends who don’t know what I’m talking about when I mention The TARDIS or Cylons, or say “Make it so, Number One.” That would actually describe the majority of people I’m friends with in real life. If I limited myself to only those I considered kindred spirits I would have zero to  perhaps one or two, in-person friends. Being somewhat of an introvert, there are many times when this would be just fine and dandy with me! However, somewhere in the back of my mind, I realize I may need more of a human support system than one or two. And while for me, being alone for very, very long stretches of time is what recharges my batteries, I still need human contact so I don’t start talking to myself out loud. In public. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Contact with my friends can be supportive and nurturing, but nothing compares to having someone who truly “gets” me with all my weirdness and contradictory quirks.


9 thoughts on “Finding a Kindred Spirit

  1. “Honestly, the other day I saw a license plate that said, “2 BLAVE” and I almost ran them off the road to see if they would please be friends with me!” I laughed so hard I had to wipe coffee spatter off the monitor! But I think you are also spot on with finding people who “get” you being so very wonderful.

    1. Haha Sure! Where do you live now? maybe I’ll move there 😉
      There was a question on a personality test I took that asked if I was more of a “Hippy” or a “yuppie.” Where I live, I feel like I’m more of a Hippy, but when I went to visit my daughter who recently moved to Portland, OR, I think I felt like more of a yuppie. Though, the whole time I was thinking, “Finally! I have found my people!”

      1. Silicon Valley. 🙂 We’ve just moved here. It’s pretty great.
        Though I agree that in conservative places I’m terribly crunchy granola hippy and in liberal places I’m just not. After all, I drive a car and use plastics. It’s very strange.

        I grew up near Portland and it really is a wonderful place. Too bad there are hardly any jobs right now.

  2. Oh, WOW! I could have written the myself. Living in Dallas can be a challenge sometimes. I have quite a few friends, but the really geeky parts of me tend to amuse my friends. They chalk it up to me being quirky. Thankfully, I’ve found an online group that will debate the merits of various Companions and who’s the best Captain (I refuse to choose). I have such a confusing mix of interests. I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone who really loves all the things I do. I guess that’s why I have friends for different parts of my life – Sci Fi (mostly online), opera, indie music, ren faire, quilting, horseback riding, dancing, museums, camping. Geez, I’m weird.

    1. Fortunately, I have “done my job as a mother” and have indoctrinated all 3 of my kids into the Whovian universe. My older two, in turn, have indoctrinated their significant others –it’s sort of a rite of passage. My son is more involved in the Star Wars and Star Trek and Superheroes. I need to work on my daughters’ education in those areas a bit more. I love all your ecclectic interests! We humans are multi-faceted! My favorite captain: Jonathan Archer. Because: Scott Bakula!!!! YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID! 😉

  3. Totally get it and feel your pain. I’ve always wanted a kindred spirit after reading Anne of Green Gables. Trekkie and sci-fi geek extraordinarie. Oregon rocks. Our compadres are out there. We just need to reach out a little more through all the coolness and make the connections.

    1. I’m so glad you got my Anne of Green Gables reference! I was Obsessed with the series –books AND the PBS series in the 1980’s. I memorized “The Highwayman” because of it,and found it to be “terribly romantic,” which is ironic because in 7th grade (about 6 or 7 years earlier) we had to read that same poem and I hated it. I thought Bess was an idiot to fall for a common criminal, no matter what romantic notions were attached to him. Though of course Tim, the Ostler was a total narc who didn’t deserve her affections either. But I digress….Deb, truly, you are of the race that knows Joseph! 😉

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