As many of you already know, I am a pretty intense being. I feel passionately about life and all of its many aspects. An artist, an academician, a mother , a wife, and a friend, I bring my intensity to everything. Sometimes this is a good thing. Heck, sometimes it’s even great. It is my intensity that allows me to finish books under crazy tight deadlines, and still maintain certain standards. It is my intensity that enables me to draw inspiration from the simplest moment of silence. It is my intensity that allows me to connect on a deep level, to cry and a beautiful piece of music, and to stand in ah at a glorious sunrise. It is also my intensity that causes my deepest heartaches.

Interacting with others when you are intense can be difficult. Sometimes the intensity causes friction in the relationships, as tempers grow short and patience runs thin. And sometimes, people just get exhausted by the intensity for no specific reason at all. This is all part and parcel for the intense person. For me.

These moments can throw me out of balance and tap on my energy stores as I try to locate the reason for the problem, even if isn’t any ONE particular thing.  Letting go of these problems, making the decision NOT to let them run down my energy levels is a key for my renewal and the renewal for most intense personalities.

Sometimes, however, letting go is much easier said than done. Sometimes wallowing in the muck is too difficult to avoid. The tips below prove a few easy ways to take control of these intense moments and let go of the things wearing you down:

Letting go of frustration:

  • Meditation or prayer – practice living in the moment every day
  • Perspective – change perspective from time to time in order to gain fresh views on your life or your actions
  • Action – take action. Nothing pulls me from wallowing and self-pity faster than taking action, even a small amount.

Letting go of stress:

  • Focused breathing – Deep breathing not only supplies oxygen to the brain for improved functioning, in gives you the gift of time to change your thoughts patterns and reduce your fight-or-flight response.
  • Shifting your thoughts – replace stressful thoughts/ideas (like work or a particular situation) with things that make you happy. Do this every time you recognize your negative thinking.
  • Exercise – One of the best ways to release stress is to get your body to physically do it for you through the release of endorphins. Take a walk or a swim the next time you are stressed and watch how quickly your body begins to relax once the “magic” endorphins start pumping.

Letting go of anger:

  • Permission –  While no one wants to get “stuck” in a place of anger, it is important to feel anger fully. Denial of it can make it hide and come out later, often in a more destructive way.
  • 24-hour rule – hold off on forming any opinions or taking specific action on your anger for at least 24 hours. You need time for the thinking part of your brain to kick in before you respond and say or do something you may regret.
  • Forced Choice- Most of the time you only have three ways you can respond to an upsetting situation: remove yourself, change the situation or accept it as is. That’s it. Pretending there is some other way you can respond will often lead to increased anger.

Try these tips whenever your intensity gets the better of you, or you are struggling with the act of letting go. You’ll be surprised how quickly they work.

What are you tips for “letting go” when things become overwhelming?


3 thoughts on “Letting Go: A Major Step in Renewal

  1. You did not mention play! Play -especially using improv and movement – can help me shift when I am stuck! Check out

  2. “24-hour rule – hold off on forming any opinions or taking specific action on your anger for at least 24 hours.” – You’ll actually find that wisdom incorporated into some military codes where soldiers cannot lodge a complaint before 24hrs have passed.

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