This post has been a long time in the writing. As most of you know, I consider myself an incredibly intense human. I demonstrate intellectual, emotional, imaginational and sensory overexcitabilities – every area except one. I have come to embrace every aspect of my highly intense nature. Well almost everyone. I struggle with my sensory overexcitabilities. In particular, I struggle with overeating and the like.

I have had a significant weight concern most of my adult life. In truth, I struggled in my childhood as well, though the form of the struggle was different. Then, I was bulimic; my struggles with self-image and overeating were hidden behind an average weight profile.
As I began to heal from my bulimia, I stopped purging, stopped the obsessive exercise. The result – my weight ballooned. I tried many things to manage my weight. All of them worked in the short-term. But I never connected my intensities (emotional and sensory) to my physical self.

This, I believe, has been the biggest problem.

Now, I am not saying that my weight is just a matter of intensities run amok. Many things have contributed to the weight issue over the years: trauma and sexual abuse, physical problems related to my yo-yo dieting (thyroid and pre-diabetes, among them), and a lack of exercise in recent years have each played a role. But it wasn’t until I connected my normal intensities to my “whole” self that I understood everything. Really understood.

Enter this personal project.

For many years, I have felt that my inner me and the outer me were out of sync. Inside, I feel healthy, vibrant, centered. Outside, I do not take care of myself in a way that reflects this.

That changes now.

From food, to sleep, to exercise, to play, my new project is about aligning my inner and outer selves. And I am bringing you guys along for the journey.

I plan on being pretty open and exposed (at least, as much as is comfortable), with this project. I will share my weight loss, excerpts of my journaling, and how I am achieving my results (good and not-so-good). The goal: to end the year a LOT healthier than I am now.

Here are my beginning stats:
IMG_4464I am fat. Like obese-fat. My goal is a healthy weight for my height and build.
I am sedentary. Like under 6000 steps/daily. My goal is an active lifestyle with daily cardio, 3x weekly strength and flexibility training.
I take meds for all sorts of obesity-related things. My goal is to be off of all meds.

How will this happen? I am starting with a functional medicine doctor, changing my relationship with food and exercise, and continuing my meditation, journaling and “play” I started last year.

I will check-in every other week with my progress. This is more about my accountability than anything else. Regardless, I hope you’ll join me to whatever degree makes sense for you.

Sometimes it’s hard to care for our intense being. But it doesn’t have to be, right? I – we – can change that narrative!

One thought on “The Care and Keeping of Intense Humans: A Personal Project

  1. I come from an intense family and am rather intense myself. I saw your post while I was looking up resources for my youngest son (who is 35) to support him as he deals with his newly discovered sensitivities. I am thrilled to “get to know you” more personally and applaud you for your candor and authenticity as you embark on this stage of your journey, your project. Let me know how I can be part of your accountability team! I’ve recently set up a couple in my life to keep me on track.

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