Welcome back to school, everyone! So good to see so many bright and shiny faces! I know we’re going to have a wonderful year, and I can’t wait to get to know all of you.
But first, please take out a Number 2 pencil, put your devices in the Bowl of Integrity on my desk (yes, just like at Trivia Night at the local watering hole), and strap on your thinking caps. It’s a Back to School Pop Quiz!
- I am excited to be back to school. T/F
- The one thing I am most looking forward to this year is:
- Learning all there is to know
- Discovering this year’s fundraiser
- The new cocktails I’ll concoct to survive the year
- Summer Break 2017
- The one thing I am most dreading this year is:
- Homework and the accompanying battles
- This year’s fundraiser
- The After-Schooling to feed my child’s insatiable brain-maw.
- The second and third jobs I’ll need for #2 and #3.
- If Wilson is traveling west on a scooter going 10 mph and Minerva is traveling south on a hovercraft going slightly faster than it takes for a watched pot to boil, what are the pink elephants drinking when they show up at the inevitable meeting we’re going to have about your child? Bonus points for naming the song playing on the ISS at the time, including artist and language.
- Please diagram this sentence: Your twice-exceptional child does not test well enough to meet the qualifications for the gifted program at this school; too bad, so sad.
- Fill in the blanks:
This year, I hope my child ___________ and ______________, despite the _________ and the __________. I know the _____________ can be a real ____________, but it’s really in the best interests of the _____________. Ultimately, it’s the _________________’s responsibility that ________________ gets a fair and appropriate education, and _____________, _______________, and ________________ should do well to remember that. ___________ _____________ ____________ ______________ _____________ _______ _____________ _______________ ____ __ ____________ _______________ _________!!!
- Are you a robot? Please type what you see in the image below: __________________
- Thought experiment: Zombies have come and education as we know it is kaput. You still have a G2e kid. Please demonstrate “now what?” using either interpretive dance, modern art, or twelve-tone serialism a la Schoenberg.
- Your teacher is tired of making questions. So if you’ve made it this far choose #1 to get this one correct. Peace out.
- Wait, what, really?
- That’s it?
- Can the whole freaking year BE THIS EASY?
- Let’s have a great year! Please write any concerns you may have in the space below: