Well, here I am again, talking about drowning (or being in the weeds, etc). It is a well-known fact that I take on too much. There, I’ve admitted it. I have a hard time saying “no” to things. It isn’t that I don’t want to offend people; or that, like so many other bright individuals, I feel like I have to say yes all the time. No, for me it is a different set of issues all together. Two of them to be exact:
- I feel like I need to prove myself over and over – and saying “yes” somehow does that (I already know the fault in my thinking, trust me)
- I generally under-estimate my fatigue with some projects and resultant time delay on others.
It’s a never-ending cycle…
And one I hate.
There is nothing worse than feeling like I’ve let others down – or worse, let myself down over and over and over again.
So, I am getting real with myself and adjusting my expectations and goals.
For example – my original writing goal for 2014 was as follows:
- NONFICTION – complete two nonfiction manuscripts and a nonfiction proposal
- FICTION – complete and release three books and one short story
What the heck was I thinking??? Even looking at this all typed out is enough to give me a mini panic attack!
The revised goal is a tad more reasonable:
- NONFICTION – Complete manuscript on contract (by July) and research for second NF manuscript under contract
- FICTION – complete Collide for a summer release and complete a draft (minimum) of the first book in the Tempting Fate series
- Additional writing – Update social media presence (over summer); blog schedule for fall 2014-summer 2015; release schedule for same time frame
See – much more reasonable. So much so, that I swear I feel a TON better.
I’ve revamped my other goals as well, putting an emphasis on both realistic expectations for myself and giving myself permission to NOT be everything to everyone. It’s a small start on regain the balance since my mom died – but an important one!
What do you do when you get overwhelmed?
Intense Life Coaching 
I resemble that remark. 🙂 I think that you have a ton more energy than I do, Christine, so what looks like cutting back to you seems like a HUGE accomplishment to me, but I know exactly what you mean. I turned 50 recently, and it’s been a wake-up call of sorts. I am being more serious about letting go of what isn’t important. It’s definitely a work in progress, but I do feel some changes.
To answer your question, my tendency when I get overwhelmed is to hibernate, and not in a good way. I now try to see that impulse as a sign to pare back, to stick to a routine more (which clears my mind), and to keep my inner focus on what I can do today.
The gym and yoga help keep my life balanced
The same thing happens to me! I take on way too much and then get swamped. I’ve found that I really have to pick and choose what I take on and set goals for myself. If what I am taking on does not help fulfill that goal then I REALLY give it a second look.
For example… I used to spend a lot of time running a writers group on facebook. As the group grew I spent more and more time keeping the place in order. Soon I had no time left to write or do other things I needed to do. So I invited some admins in and took a HUGE step back. Due to wanting to work on other bigger projects I only step back into that group for fun now 😉
For me, becoming overwhelmed feels much like drowning very slowly in jello I made to enjoy later! This has been a death by jello week/month because I feel the need to not let anyone down – letting others down looks much
like failure to me. My self
expectations often fails to
include sleep, eating or anything
else realistic. Thank you for
taking the “I’m all alone” out of
my self fought war!